THIS IS A TEST
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Carly Rae Jepsen broke through the summer scene when her hit, “Call Me Maybe,” practically grew legs and climbed in the ear of every beast known to mankind. After spending nine consecutive weeks atop Billboard‘s Hot 100 and later being crowned runner-up to Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used To Know” for Song of the Year, the cult-following of “Call Me” has made Carly Rae one of the most successful newcomers of her bunch. After claiming the AMA for Best New Artist, an EMA, and two GRAMMY nods at the upcoming ceremony, it’s time we anticipate just what Billboard’s “Rising Star” can do beyond a couple of hits, no?
Before you give me that look, allow me to explain myself.
Early this year, my good friend sat me down and forced me to sit through three minutes and 19 seconds of Jessica Simpson sing about thinking she’s in love with somebody. Eight months later, that song is the third most-played song in my iTunes—only five plays away from catching Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” and less than 20 away from beating out Nicki Minaj’s “Stupid Hoe” (don’t judge!). Prior to hearing “I Think I’m In Love With You,” the only song that came to mind when someone mentioned Jessica Simpson was “These Boots Are Made For Walking“—the song that almost took my black card at the ripe age of 13.
At that point, my Jessica Simpson library only haD two songs in it. Those of course being “I Think” and “These Boots.“
And then came “I Wanna Love You Forever.”
If you know me, you know I’m really big on ballads. “I Wanna” was IT for me! I couldn’t believe I spent 20 (?) years of my life without this song in it. With “I Think” and “I Wanna” quickly rising on the ranks of most-played songs, I felt compelled to find me another Jessica song before I committed to an entire album. Here’s when “Where You Are,” the duet with ex Nick Lachey captured my empty little heart.
I WAS SOLD. Three singles. All exceptional. Why not?
Sweet Kisses made its debut on my computer sometime around the summer. I remember this because that album was all I could listen to on those hour-long 4:00 am drives to the radio station. Along with the three songs I’d already heard, I had really developed a liking to a few others including “Betcha She Don’t Love You” and “Woman In Me” where I brag that Beyoncé and Jessica totally sang together. One song that ultimately carved Jessica a special place within me is “You Don’t Know What Love Is.” I couldn’t believe my ears. It was such a solid piece!
While the album, as a whole, wasn’t the best, it was definitely more than I expected out of Jessica Simpson. For one, who knew she could SANG like that? Secondly, a lot of the ballads on Sweet Kisses reminded me of some of my favorite songs. And who can get over Beyoncé (and the rest of the 1999 Destiny’s Child) practically singing back-up for Jessica Simpson?
Rescued from naivety, I YouTubed the shit out of everything Jessica Simpson until I could find a second album to exploit. This time it was In This Skin. Thanks to “With You,” “Take My Breath Away,” and the live rendition of “Angels,” In This Skin was a no-brainer for me.
More comfortable with Mama Simpson’s material this go ’round, I had a better feeling of how to approach In This Skin. Ballads of course being exactly what to hold her accountable for, I came across some more great finds. Not as many as Sweet Kisses, but a few that’ve served me well throughout the past few months.
“Be,” one of my favorite songs from the recording, was perfect in every way. That was until I realized that the song was not a break-up song, but an extremely gushy love song—just like every ballad I’d heard from her thus far. And that was just disappointing.
The songwriting aspect of In This Skin was a bit too immature for me, but who really cares about the song when you have a voice like Jessica’s?
After she’d warmed up in my library, I realized that Jessica Simpson has almost become a staple in my everyday life. With Sweet Kisses remaining on my iPhone and iPod since the day I’ve gotten it, I just recently began to notice how dependent I’ve become of hearing Jessica’s voice at some point in the day.
Every morning I have to hear “I Think I’m In Love With You” before arriving at my destination. Every time I need a quick ballad to sing along to, I shoot right for “Where You Are.” And at the wake of a moment I’m feeling as though I’m really in like with someone, it’s inevitable that I play “Everyday See You.”
I never pictured the day where I’d be willing to kick someone’s face in for throwing a little Jessica Simpson shade, but that day has came (Baby Maxwell jokes aside). I’ve become somewhat of a Jehova’s, or in this case a Jessica’s, witness, teasing everyone who rides in my car or sits at the lunch table with me with a little Jessica. It’s bazaar, I know.
But that’s just the way it’s gotta “Be” 
-K. Dei’Vo